I’m in such an awful, evil, mood. Like punch holes in your walls and set ur shit on fire mood. I have managed to fuck so much up. Why am I so good at that? One hates me, one thinks I’m just a crazy drunk whore bitch, and the other prob thinks that too but tolerates. it’s just stupid. Everything is always so fucking stupid. And then I think about Saturday. It used to be one of my favorite places to go. I’d be so excited. Such good food and Id always try to take a kitten home. My favorite part was laying in their backyard and looking up at all the stars. It was like the sky was a city. And it was silent. The quiet of peaceful country. But this time no stars, no cats or cheesecake. Just funeral. Just tears. I want to drink to make this feeling go away, but I don’t. I’m over that too. I dont want to drink all the time again, I can’t. I was just getting everything fucking together, and then boom. I fuck up hahah. The usual. I need a moment. I just want to lay in silence and look at the stars…